


13 Reasons Why : A Part of Me

by SarcasticAvi



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alive Hannah Baker, Angst, Complete, F/F, F/M, Fantasy, Ghost Hannah Baker, M/M, Rape, Romance, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:28:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25785886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasticAvi/pseuds/SarcasticAvi
Summary: Hannah tried to kill herself, clay is distressed, one day something beyond Clay's imagination happens that changes everything.A magical ride with fun & love
Relationships: Hannah Baker/Clay Jensen, Jessica Davis/Justin Foley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. CLAY FUCKING JENSEN

**Author's Note:**

> It's just a altered version of original work
> 
> I respect the massage which is given through this series even if that's totally horrific.

"is it okay" I asked

"More than ok" she replied and I started kissing her again, it was brilliant, her lips were soft, here hair were smooth, but suddenly it all stopped she pushed me away.

"What happened" she looked panicked and hid her face behind her hands I put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her but she shrugged it off.

"Go" she said in sobs

"What's wrong" I asked again "did I do something wrong, I'm sorry Hannah I just thought you were alright with this"

"Just leave me alone" 

"Hannah, tell me what's the problem" I insisted 

"just go" she shouted 

"ok, I'll go at least tell me what's wrong" I asked again I don't know why but I don't wanted leave her alone drunk and crying.

"Just get the fuck out of here" she shouted again 

I stared leaving, I was on the door when I heard her voice again "I need you"

I woke up, panting looked around me it was dark, I realized I was fucking dreaming again, the same dream which I've been dreaming for last two weeks since Hannah tried to kill herself, I STILL can't Believe she did that, I've been trying to see her for last two weeks but I'm not able to she is in hospital unconscious, fragile and broken, I don't think I would be able to stand her sight like this, I love the smiling Hannah, I want her to smile again, and I tried seeing her in hospital too I've been going to the hospital for last 2 weeks, every fucking day I go there with the determination of facing the truth, with the hope of holding her hand, but all I'm able to do is standing on hospital gate and staring at the building, once I sat in front of the hospital for almost six hours and I missed school that day, millions of text from my parents, but I wasn't able to buzz myself as I've been feeling lost everyday and 2 days ago I entered the building, I was almost on Fifth floor in which Hannah is right now, But I wasn't able to see her that day again as I panicked.

I had my breakfast as usual, yeah my parents has started the staring again which they used to do while I was on medications, they try their best to look in other directions when I notice.

I was on my way to school, I was walking I don't feel like cycling today. Again I'll have to see her locker, I miss her smile which she used to give me whenever I looked at her, "hey what You doing" a voice cut off my thoughts, I turned and saw Justin the star jock "I just-" I started but he cut me off "you aren't innocent either, no matter what she says" 

What he's talking about " you don't even know my name" 

"Off course I do, clay" he said sternly, suddenly out of nowhere Mr. Porter appeared and called us. It was the most peculiar conversation I had with someone.

Now tony is giving me ride to my home and something unusual happened some of the Jocks asked me to give me ride, but out of nowhere tony appeared and asked me to come in the car. The day was all bad some of the people I don't know very well were staring at me, like I've stolen something from them.

I said bye to Tony, started walking towards my home door, but then my eyes fell on a brown parcel sitting on my doorstep, I went for it and on the top of the box it was written "CLAY JENSEN"


	2. WHAT THE HELL & WORST BECAME BEST.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These are two chapters combained, I've already uploaded 8 chapters of this story on wattapad by same name, you can check there as I update there first.

From now on 3rd person P.O.V

What The Hell.

He grabbed the box and took it inside his room for checking it but when He opened the box inside it were some cassettes and a map. looked at some cassettes which are numbered on each side, He asked his dad where his radio thing is which is supposedly called boom box, his father told the thing is in garage. Clay weng to the garage and looked around for boom box which he found sitting on a table at right far corner of the room.

Clay put an cassette into the boom box and waited for the sound

"Hey, it's Hannah Baker-" 

"What the hell" .

Clay STILL can't believe he is one of the reasons why she tried to kill herself, His boom box button for ejecting the slide for cassette has been damaged as his mother caught him off guard when he was trying to process the fucking cassettes, He loved hearing her voice, he is fucking glad he heard it but he never wanted to hear it like this or to hurt her, now he knows he did it, he doesn't know how, when or where but he did, she tried to kill herself because he hurt her, he hurt the girl he loves.

He stole Tony's Walkman and ended up with a scar on his forehead, that's what a shit day looks like fist he is depressed that Hannah hates him which is literally proved by the point he got the tapes, he wants to hear her story, why she did what she did but he never wanted to know all of this like this. Her voice is beautiful as always even if it feels like it's hallow.

He is cursing himself because he was pathetic to her at that time when her photo got viral, Yeah "I was jealous and angry, everything but it still doesn't justify my decision does it" He thought himself after completing first tape, yeah Tony is literally the worst friend as he knew all along what the hell was happening with me, not even trying to help me with what I've done to her.

Clay never knew in what pain she was in, he can't even imagine as he always ignored others but she never did, she felt it the pain, He was a jerk to her a big one, He knows he won't be able to hear everything, He can't, he just can't hear her voice when she will tell how he hurt her, how she hates me. Clay looked at the sky, closing his eyes as the tears are coming, he mumbles while trying to control himself   
"I'm sorry Hannah, I let you down."

Clay was on cassette number 10, he can't believe he was able to hear them all yet, he now knows what Hannah felt all the time, when Justin started it all, when Jessica slapped her, when Alex made that stupid list and he, himself appreciated it, when Tyler stalked her, when Courtney used her, when Marcus molested her, when Zack stole her compliments when Ryan published Hannah's secrets, when Bryce rapped Jessica., And every fucking time he was also at fault like being nasty to her when she was already suffering rumors of being slut, when he told her that why she is getting bothered by the list, when he too sensed someone at that day but never asked her about it, when he was dancing with her but he let her go alone to drunk Jessica, when he should have had the courage to tell her that she was on his Valentine's Dollor bill, when should have sensed that she was isolating herself, she was changing herself and he called her dark for fuck's sake.

Clay felt like shit after hearing the 10th tape he still can't believe some of Jeff's blood is on Sheri the sweet girl, he always blamed Jeff for his own death, he though Jeff lied to him about being drunk, but he told the truth he was not drunk, he was in worst luck. He confronted Sheri, asked her to reveal the truth to confess to Jeff's parents. She didn't come with him to Jeff's parents house but he did, and told them what ever was his part of story. On his way to home he saw the hospital in which Hannah is still unconscious hating him.

He put the cassette 11, he kinda knows whose tape is this because he is the part of Jessica's party day. His heartbeat was faster than he can imagine, he is glad Tony is with him. Clay pressed the play button, 

I've told you about two of the worst decisions I ever made and the damage left behind and the people who got hurt There is one more story to tell.. one more bad decision. and this one's all on me.

It's not about going to the party how would I've known that's not going to end well, it's about you, CLAY.

Clay stopped the walkman and inhaled whole air around him, Tony looked at him with pity.

"How Am I suppose to hear this" he asked

"By putting the cassette in, and pressing play button" Tony replied

"that's an asshole answer" 

Clay inhaled and exhaled for a while again, " I am sorry Hannah really sorry but this is getting tougher by every cassette and now it's really hard. Clay braced himself once again for the inevitable, and pressed play. Clay was living the memory when Hannah described that night their drinking, stupid talks everything was playing itself in his mind, then the part came which he dreaded the most. Hannah described those beautiful moments which still comes in his dreams, and ends up like shit.

"I hoped you to stay Clay but you were gone just like I asked you"

He should never have left, he made a mistake, he should have noticed she was depressed, Clay you dumb idiot.

"Clay it wasn't you who ruined that moment it was me, I ruined it just like everything"

"No, you never ruined anything Hannah" clay shouted at the walkman

"Clay you deserve someone better than me, I'm a bit glad this happened otherwise I would've ruined you too"

"No, NO NO, you are fucking better than any girl on this planet" Clay exclaimed again

"And I know you hate me too now Clay"

Clay wasn't able to hear it anymore he was miserable after hearing it all she thought he hated him , I can never hate you Hannah no matter what happens. Clay let his tear fall for sometime, Tony let him cry like a baby. 

Suddenly Clay jerked off his head, and he opened the door of car with such strength that the door of car make a sound like something broke, Clay jumped out of car and sprinted toward the main road, in such speed that it took a moment for Tony to realize just what the hell happened.

Clay ran faster than he can muster he just had one person his mind at that time, his goal was just to reach Hannah as soon as he can, he didn't even knew when he reached the 5th floor of hospital, he reached Hannah's room door in no time, jerked it open, and his eyes were again wet, almost after 3 weeks he was seeing her, he just went near to her bed still with just one thing in his mind.

"Hannah, I'm sorry that I let you down" Clay started saying with quivering " I just never realised and I'm sorry, That I left you alone that day, I'm sorry, I hurt you in so many ways which I never realized were hurting, I should have been a good friend to you but I was the worst, and - and" clay continuing with sobs " I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, because I'm a pathetic loser, I didn't have courage to even tell you that- " clay inhaled and reached for her hand, softly rubbed with his thumb, looked at her eyes which were closed inhaled again before continuing,  
"I love you "


	3. You & I and I'm not insane, Am I??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters combained. On Wattpad I've already uploaded 16 chapter -
> 
> Usernsme - sarcasticavi  
> Fanfiction name - 13 reasons why: A part of me  
> I.G - @iammeerwal.

YOU & I 

"You are not a loser" 

Clay looked at Hannah, she was still not moving but he was damn sure he heard her, but soon he realised from where the voice was coming , he turned around and saw Hannah standing, with a sad smile plastered on her face, he looked back at the unmoving body of Hannah, he looked around again and said "who are you" 

"It's me Hannah" the girl said about whom clay was damn sure she was his hallucination, suddenly Hannah's head jerked off, and her body started shivering, he shouted "doctor, doctor!!"

After a moment a doctor came in with him a woman came who looked at Clay and then at Hannah and reached for her "baby, baby what happened"

Doctor was examining her, and asked Mrs. Baker to calm down, at same moment a nurse too came in.  
Mrs. Baker nodded and paid her all attention to the doctor who was examining Hannah, she wasn't shivering now but still her breaths were high, doctor turned around and asked me and Mrs. Baker to wait outside.

Mrs. Baker started moving outside in corridor, desperately hoping her daughter would be fine.

Clay stood in front of the door silently, he looked at his left side again noticed the hallucination Hannah staring at Mrs. Baker , anxiously and she said "I'm sorry mom"

"You should be to her at least" said Clay a little bit louder than he expected, and Mrs. Baker asked Clay "Are you alright"

"Yeah, I-I'm sorry Mrs. Baker" 

"It's Okay, what's your name??"

"um, I'm Clay Jensen"

"How did you know her, were you close friends"

"we weren't close friends, but we worked in theater together" 

"Okay, I've seen you, multiple times outside the hospital, why you never came in to see her"

"I just didn't had the courage to face her, in some way I let her down that's why she tried to took her own life"

"No- No clay, you did nothing wrong" said Hannah's hallucination  
Clay ignored her, Mrs. Baker asked "what do you mean you let her down Clay"

But, before Clay could answer the doctor came, with a smile on his face, "how is she??" Mrs. Baker seemed like she forgot clay was there at all

"She is more than fine for now, out of her critical situation which was dreading us for last three weeks, it's like a miracle, she is still in comma, but now her health is stable" Doctor replied

"Can I see her??" Mrs. Baker asked, at doctor's nod Mrs. Baker left and went inside to see Hannah

After that doctor looked at clay and said "you can go too" 

"Um, I'm late, I need to get home" Clay replied and started walking towards lift, he desperately wanted to see her in good condition, but right now he has much more worse problems as his hallucination has started talking which is a clearly a sign that he is insane.  
\-----------------------------------------------

I’m not Insane, Am I??

Clay was out of the hospital but still the hallucination didn’t disappear it was walking alongside him saying nothing, Clay stopped looked at his hallucination for a minute, shook his head, rubbed his eyes and then looked at his hallucination which was laughing out loud, Clay said “ I’m really mental now”

“No, you're not,” said the hallucination between laughs  
“Yeah, Definitely I’m”

“No, clay try to understand it’s real” the hallucination stopped laughing but still had a smile on her face, which was beautiful as always

“Yeah, I’m because I’m talking, to my hallucination, which is the worse thing I can do right now”

“Okay, let me prove you that, you aren’t mental” the hallucination said

Clay laughed, at that and said “I’m completely insane”, started moving, ignoring the irritated hallucination

“I made 13 tapes before committing suicide, Clay”

“I already know that, means my hallucination knows too, isn’t it?? Clay said still ignoring his hallucination 

“have you heard them, all??” hallucination asked sadly

“Yeah, I’ve heard, now I don't want to talk to my imagination, because it’s really stupid, I'm mental ” Clay said angrily and kicked a rock on the street, which caused him intense pain that he was jumping, as the stone was fixed on street.

“you are stupid, how many you have heard"

“Hey, just FUCKING DISAPPEAR” clay roared

“Clay it’s SERIOUS” His hallucination shouted which made him shout to  
“I’m seriously INSANE now” 

“please, Clay” the hallucination pleaded 

Clay though for a second and he spoke “ Okay, I’ve heard eleven of them two are remaining” 

“Okay, Now don’t hear anymore”  
“I don’t want to, but you wanted me- um I mean Hannah wanted me to hear them so I have to” 

“But now I’m telling you to not” 

“First of all, you aren’t Hannah, you are my fucking hallucination second my mind is really fucked up, that I’m speaking with my hallucination” 

“Okay, you’ll hear to the twelfth tape then, isn’t it??” 

“Definitely, now please go away” 

“But I can tell you what’s already in the tape, which means only I can, & I’m truly Hannah, isn’t it” 

Clay ignored that, started walking again, Hannah’s hallucination was still moving aside him telling him that she can tell what’s on the twelfth tape, she was still consistent, clay stopped irritated, looked at his hallucination who stopped too, Clay calmly said “speak” 

His hallucination looked at clay, desperately, tears brimming in her eyes, she murmured something incoherently Clay wasn’t able to hear her, he asked her to speak again he didn’t caught anything again he angrily shouted “ just, SPIT IT OUT??”

His hallucination looked at him eyes full of tears, then shouted back at him “I was FUCKING rapped” 

Clay looked at her, she had tears in her eyes but looked hurt, Clay tried to move closer to her, but she just backed away, turned and started running in opposite direction, Clay looked at the running figure, he now can’t figure out what it really was, She can’t be Hannah, no one saw her in hospital, not even her mom, ONLY HE SAW, which means she is his hallucination and Hannah was on her bed how there can be two Hannah she was his imagination she has to be, she was definitely not Hannah how she could be, he saw her on bed, but still how his hallucination can say something like that and last like forever, why it feels like he really hurt her. There is only one way to find out.


	4. What's happening, Then?? And Hold My Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Chapters combined as alwasy!!  
> Enjoy and give your feedback pls.
> 
> For getting faster update come on wattpad, there I've already uploaded 16 chapters .
> 
> 13 Reasons why : A part of me  
> @sarcasticavi  
> I.G - @iammeereal

What's HAPPENING, then??

Clay looked in distance his hallucination was long gone but he wasn't still able to really process everything, one thing which was in his mind was listen to twelfth tape and everything will come out, he will know for sure that he was hallucinating and whatever the hallucination Hannah said was wrong, but still it was tough for him to really listen it, what if it really has some horrible incident in it, what if she was really...

Every freaking thought was killing him, but somehow he mustered his all courage and put the headphone over his ears and pressed the play button....

He heard her voice, not sweet as always, she seemed hallow, like she felt nothing at the very moment she was recording it, he knew clearly which day she was talking about, he wanted to talk to her that day when she came to collect her cheque, he even tried but he was stupid as fuck at that day as well totally oblivious to the fact that Hannah too wanted to talk to him, she thought he hated her, still she tried but, Stupid Jensen as always missed the fact that his love is hurt. He listened to her, she told about losing her parents deposits on the way to theater, how her parents reacted, how she knew her parents hated her too now, how she knew she is useless, how she got out of home late at night and ended up in Bryce walker's party, how she joined others in hot tub when they insisted, how good she felt in the hot water, numb and finally at peace but that peace didn't lasted as everyone else got out, and only she remained in there, for some time alone but Bryce joined her shattering her peace, pulling her closer to him, pining her on the surface, removing her underwear, cupping her breast, and finally fulfilling his own lust, on a girl who was lost, who just gave up, whose soul was broken now, damaged beyond any repair.

Clay was on his kneels crying out loud he was shocked, lost, only thing right now he wanted was find walker and kill him, but the most important thing right now was finding Hannah, she was real Hannah, she was. He doesn't know how and why, but she can't be his hallucination, she knew which he didn't already which proves it, she is Hannah, then how she was on her bed, he saw her and no one saw this Hannah except him, how??why?? is that Hannah's ghost?? No she isn't dead she can't be, I won't let her die. 

He stood up and started running in the same direction in which direction Hannah disappeared he didn't know how but he knew where she is, He kept running , he ran faster than he has ever been after some minutes he reached Crestmont, he stopped looked around while panting, he saw a figure sitting on a bench at the far left corner of theater gates, he ran towards the figure, the moment he saw her sitting there he stopped they were some feet apart, her eyes were on him, puffy and stains of tears were still there on her cheeks, he gathered all his courage and moved forward then, settled himself beside her on the bench. She was looking at her hands, "I'm sorry," said Clay "I just a couple of hours ago promised you, I'll take care of you but I lashed out at you"

"you heard it then" she said

"I did, I'm really sorry Hannah"

"if you want to take back what you said in hospital you can, I won't mind" 

"what do you mean"

"You don't have to take care of me I'm a wreck, and you don't have to like me either"

"What makes you think that, a fucking tape will change my mind,"

"clay it's just you deserve-

"I deserve you"

"Clay you don't have-

"I told you I like you just please don't make me say the same thing over and over again I'm no good at it, you very well know Hannah"

Hannah stared at clay for a moment before speaking "okay"

After This small conversation a long pause came both of them looking at their hands, clay every minute opening his mouth to say something but closing it without uttering anything, Hannah was waiting for him to open up but at his failed attempts she asked, "clay what is it??"

"ahh, it's just something stupid" Clay replied nervously, and thought "how to politely ask she isn't dead it isn't her ghost,"

"Hey, come on ask?? Said Hannah with a smile

"I told you, forget it, it's nothing" said Clay trying to close the topic, 

"please, Clay come on" Said Hannah 

Clay cleared his mouth before speaking "It's just, I was thinking how can you be here, I mean you were in your bed when I first time heard you from behind and you were there on bed too"

"I was thinking the very same thing, at first I thought I'm really dead-

"you aren't dead" Said Clay and felt relief, 

"I just thought but it came out I'm not, I can feel myself in hospital as well as here , only one I can communicate is to you Clay,"

"why??"

"I don't know"

"till what time you are wondering out of your body like this??"

"The minute you- Hannah stopped in middle her cheeks were pink, she has a smile on her face beautiful than ever.

"the minute I what" Asked clay confusedly but It took him a minute to interpret Hannah's expression and words "you mean when I touched your hand" 

Hannah nodded, clay flushed so brightly that his cheek must be red and hot as any fucking fire.

"I still don't understand why it's, happening??" asked clay while trying to hide his flushed face

______________________________________________________

Hold my Hand. 

"I told you because you held my hand" said Hannah

" Yeah, I know it's just why you are out of your body" asked Clay 

"I don't know, and really I like it this way," 

"What your body laying on a bed for eternity," asked Clay looking into her eyes now

"I don't know, Clay" replied Hannah with breaking the eye contact

"Okay, let's go home" said Clay, for defusing the tension of conversation, while standing up, and offering his hand to Hannah

"Yeah, yeah I should go home where my parents are still waiting for me to wake up, with whom I won't be able to make eye contact ever, one minute they can't even see me, is that a improvement" said Hannah with a sarcastic tone

Clay ignoring everything for the sake of Hannah said "I meant my home only" while still offering his hand

"You mean-"

"Hannah come on, no one's going to even know you were in my home, does it matter? " said Clay and added "my hand is waiting"

Hannah took the hand and both of them started walking, still holding each other's hand, it felt good to Clay, he was way more nervous while holding her hand.

They walked and walked didn't talk at all just hold each other's hand,Clay was determined to never let her go, just in silence they reached Clay's home, this was unusual as most of the time Clay was with her they were just talking and talking, it used to felt like even the end of world can't stop their conversations Clay's thoughts were cut off by Hannah "here we are, walked a long road and you didn't speak a word Helmet" 

It felt to good hear helmet once again, "Now the blame is on me you should have spoken too" said Clay

"hey, who started this conversation??" Asked Hannah her eyebrows furrowed 

"Hannah Baker, started but after the long walk " answered Clay

"whatever but I spoke first," said Hannah satisfied with his answer.

"should we??" Clay asked for walking ahead into his home, Hannah looked at his home, then nodded

Clay slowly opened the gate, hoping for his mother to be in her room but maybe god never liked him  
"Clay, where were you" asked mrs Jensen standing in front of clay, hand on her sides

"um, I was with Tony for the project"

"you didn't told me, when you were leaving" asked his mom

"I-I forgot, I'm sorry for that"

His mother looked at him for a sec, then said "okay, go clean yourself, food is on table"

"I'll take food to my room" said Clay moving towards washroom

"As you wish" Clay's mom responded.

"You want me to join you in washroom" Hannah asked

"Of course not, room is upstairs" Clay responded instantly 

"Okay, then" Hannah said while holding her and his intertwined hand in front of his face, Clay saw and reliased he was still holding her hand he instantly dropped it, flushed like fire, and said "Sorry" and left for the washroom leaving laughing Hannah in corridor.


	5. Late night, Conversations and A New Day!!

Late night, conversations.

Clay entered his room holding two plates of food in one pasta and in other apple pie, he looked around Hannah was standing in front of lord of the rings posters in his right hand side of wall unaware of Clay's presence yet. Clay closed the door by using foot, and then moved straight towards his study table where he put the plates, then focused on Hannah who was still looking at posters, he coughed a bit for her attention, but she still seemed of not knowing his presence he moved a bit closer to Hannah and tapped on her shoulder, she turned around quickly, looked horrified shouted "Clay!!, you gave me a heart attack, when did you come??"

"I have been here for a eternity, you weren't paying slightest attention to me"

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking"

"about what??"

"Nothing important" Hannah responded, then a sudden smile appeared on her face and she added "by the way you are really a nerd, nerd, look around you everywhere a freaking poster"

Clay knew she was changing the topic but he wasn't going to talk about which things, she didn't want to talk about yet, so he ignoring everything said" Wanna eat??"

"I'm starving but I haven't really tried eating yet"

"Let's try then"

Clay and Hannah moved towards table, Clay removed a chair from table and asked Hannah to sit to which Hannah stared at Clay and said "I only can see one chair Clay, what about you"

"there isn't a rule about sitting while eating"

"You are right but you are stupid too, there is a bed in your room and you chose a table over that for eating" said Hannah, picked up both the plates and moved towards bed and put them on bed, and settled herself , then stared at clay who was still standing nearby table " come on clay"

Clay moved towards bed, settled himself bedside her, then spoke "Actually, I out of habit chose table as always for eating"

"Okay, Nerd and stupid Helmet" said Hannah in teasing tone while, picking up a knife and spoon.

"Hey- clay opened his mouth to say something but, he wasn't able to complete his sentence as Hannah put spoon in his mouth, Clay stared at her, at her laugh, he managed to eat it, and she started eating too, he saw a spoon with a piece of apple pie in it ready for him but he said before letting her put spoon in his mouth "At least you can eat too"

"don't speak while eating" Hannah said before putting spoon once again in his mouth.

After eating, teasing and having fun both of them sat in silence on Clay's bed but Clay broke the silence "You can sleep on bed, I can sleep on couch"

"Hey, I'm already sleeping"

"You can go back in your body"

"I don't know"

"What, try then right away maybe you will wake up"

"What if I do it and doesn't wake up, get stuck in my body again this time in comma"

"Ohhh, yeah you are right but if you are out of your own body, how you will recover from comma"

"I'll try later,"

"Yeah" said Clay, he didn't know what else to say, if Hannah goes into her body, still doesn't wake up from comma and get stuck in it, that will make thing worse.

"You can sleep on bed, I'll manage on couch" said hannah

"No,No-No" said Clay, moved towards couch beside her and jumped on couch, covering it with his body "it's mine"

Hannah looked at him, for a second "You know right, you are adorable"

"Hannah, I've heard that word now a thousand times" said Clay, meanwhile Hannah readying the bed smiling, then turned around still smile plastered on her lips, said "sleep with me"

Clay fell on the ground at those words, while instantly standing up he asked "What!"

"Just sleep with me on bed, I don't want you to sleep on a couch in your house,"

"hey, it doesn't matter you can have the bed I'm comfortable here" said Clay while scratch his head

"Well, I'm not" said Hannah, putting two pillows together, after that she turned around looking at Clay who was still scratching his head "now come on, I'm tired"

"Okay" Clay said, moved towards Hannah stood beside her, she looked at him before managing herself on right side of bed, leaving space for Clay on left side of bed, Clay was still standing there looking at her, he saw her burrowing her eyebrows, he knew she was going to snap so he just hurriedly laid beside her, he saw her smiling, he was a wreck right now, he was thinking over and over again he will do something wrong which will upset her, but something happened something he wasn't expecting at all, Hannah just put her head on his chest, which raised his heartbeat.

"are you alright with it" asked Hannah looking up at him with concerned eyes. 

"If you are, I am" said Clay

In this position both of them slept whole night, Clay woke up at five 'o' Clock because of his lusty dream, he instantly looked under the cover which he regretted as it caused Hannah to wake up as well, she yawned a bit before speaking "whats time"

"it's five" said Clay, he tried to show her his best smile but he knew, she sensed his uneasiness.

"Hey, what happened" she asked, with a worried look.

"Nothing, I , ah actually - Hannah why don't you go and wash yourself" said clay , his eyes on blanket

"Clay are you forgetting or pretending to forget that I don't need any of that, it doesn't matter too , I need some sleep" said Hannah, with a yawn.

"you look wreck right now and I think this sleep is enough, and if you still want to sleep you should wash at least before that, I'm sure you can use bathroom as you were able to eat." Said Clay, Still his eyes on blanket

"now really what's wrong, Helmet"

"Nothing" said Clay with a fake laugh, still looking at his blankets.

"Anything wrong with the blanket" asked Hannah, 

"what, no why is that???" Clay asked and gulped the air, he though to himself "she noticed you dumbass, she noticed"

"then why are you keep looking at it" said Hannah but before, Clay can even reply, she threw blanket aside, and added "holy shit"

Clay's pajamas were wet with the outcome of his dreams, beneath him the bedcovers were also stained with his white material, clay was now looking everywhere but not at Hannah for avoiding embarrassment, you made it fool she now knows you can't even sleep with a girl you are pervert, and whatnot.

"I'm really sorry, Hannah" said Clay "I never meant it, it just happened" still looking in opposite direction, after a moment he felt hand under his chin which turned his head in Hannah's direction, they were so close, there lips were just some inches apart , her eyes in his, "it's alright, Helmet"  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A New DAY!! 

The time Clay entered his room after washing himself he saw Hannah holding his bedsheets, Clay instantly said “hey, you don’t have to do anything”

Hannah totally ignored him on the other hand she walked past him, then through the door with ruined bedsheets, out of his sight in an instant all clay was able to do was gawk at her. Clay immediately left his room to find Hannah, she was in his washroom, door was a bit ajar, Clay cleared his throat for Hannah to know he wants to come in there was no response then again he cleared his throat but this time for speaking “can I come in??”

After a moment she responded with a shout “Sure”

Clay hurriedly came into washroom and saw Hannah washing the bedsheets “ohh, you don’t have to do anything”, her head turned around, holding now soaked bedsheets in her hands she said “I’ve already done, dork, now get them dry” then threw bedsheets at clay who caught “now get out” 

After a lot of insistence from his parents Clay ate some cereal and left for school, Hannah’s so called ghost beside him.

“still can’t understand why you are here” said Clay 

“Do you have a problem with that” said Hannah in a harsh tone

“No,no,no why would I have a problem,” said clay urgently and added “I just can’t still figure out why you are out of your body or what’s really happening,”

“First thing, I was Just kidding, second even I don’t know”

“Yeah we gotta find out” said clay. 

When Clay and Hannah reached liberty high, first person they both saw was Bryce walker to whom Clay gave murderous look to which Bryce was totally oblivious, Hannah noticed Clay’s stare and pulled him to other side, and said “Calm down, helmet”

“How can I?? I want to KILL him!!” clay shouted, everyone around Clay started staring at him, because for them clay was shouting at no one, one of the passerby said “are u outta your mind, Jensen”

“You know right, only you can see me”

“I know, I’m just sorry for shouting at you” 

“Never mind,” said Hannah, and reached for Clay’s Hannah, pulled him towards his locker.

Hannah still holding Clay’s hand, Clay knew she was still not trusting him to not lash out again, Clay was not in good mood about the fact that Bryce was still free roaming around school with his other jock friends, this was making him feel uneasy, making him feel to punch in walls until either walls are broken or his hand, he knew the probability of breaking the wall was a probability of him going to moon.

At least his day at school was not all bad as at least this time Hannah was there with him, Clay was planning on how to get a confession from Bryce about what he did to Hannah.

Clay and Hannah were sitting in cafeteria, “Do you want to eat something” asked Clay 

“Yeah, chocolates and candies” replied Hannah cheerily 

“What about the vegetables” asked Clay with a mocking raised eyebrow

“Ohh, vegetables can fuck themselves” said Hannah rapidly

“Hey, language” said Clay while standing up

“Don’t be my mom, Jensen”

When Clay turned around everyone’s eyes were on him, looking suspicious, to which Clay turned again to Hannah, which from everyone’s perspective was just an empty chair “I suppose, we can’t just talk in public or else I’ll be announced mentally ill”

When Clay came back with chocolates and candies, he and Hannah approached the gate to get out of that place as soon as possible and find a quite place to eat but suddenly Hannah stopped, staring at someone, when Clay followed her stare, to his surprise it was on Justin, who was sitting alone at a table, “hey, helmet” her voice brought back his attention to her, she grabbed his hand again and started moving hurriedly towards he didn’t know where but soon he realized it was school auditorium, together they entered it and she pulled him towards afar corner in auditorium, then asked him to sit, then she settled herself beside him and then asked “what really happened till now, after I trying to kill myself”

“Hannah, really I was waiting for this question” said Clay he already knew she was going to ask this but when yeah he got that answer too.


	6. All hell Broke LOOSE!!

All hell broke loose.

Clay told her everything from the day news spread of her trying to kill herself, he excluded the part of him going to hospital daily but not being able to visit her room until eleventh tape, other than that he told her how he tried to confront Justin, how he talked to Jessica, how he was forced to drink one day how everyone else tried to make him give up on Hannah's cassettes, how he spread Tyler's obscene photo, how Justin and Bryce got in a fight, how Sheri was trying to make amends but still afraid of telling the truth, he left the part where Sheri kissed him "You really did that" asked Hannah in disbelief

"Really, did what" asked Clay back

"Tyler, butt pic" asked Hannah "you shouldn't have Clay"

"yeah, I know but I don't know why I don't feel bad about it or regret it"

"Don't lose your innocence for me Clay" said Hannah

Clay didn't replied to that, he just striped wrapper of chocolates and gave it to Hannah, who instantly grabbed it and started eating, both of them had fun while eating chocolates in a dark auditorium, with a hundreds of chairs around them, and they sitting in a last pair of chairs in last raw, they talked about nerdy topics as they usually do, about some brainless zombies to Hogwarts, just ignoring their problems for time being. They had a lot of time as he had next two periods free as all the teachers are having a meeting in principal office regarding students safety to which Hannah laughed when it was announced earlier in class today, she said at least there are some improvements caused by her attempt at killing herself.

"Should we do lord of the rings marathon" asked Hannah while standing up, "yeah sure" replied Clay instantly, as Hannah started moving towards gates of auditorium Clay followed her.

"I know you have watched multiple times those movies so it's so nice of you to agree" said Hannah walking ahead of him

"No, I've just watched those movies twice" said Clay timidly,

"Really, Clay??" said Hannah still moving ahead, Clay behind her.

"Yeah, really Hannah" said Clay instantly this time with a snort  
Suddenly Hannah halted and turned around to look at Him, her eyes were raised, Clay hesitated for a moment before speaking but the look in her eyes made him gave up so he confessed " Yeah, Okay when I was a kid I used to watch whole day and I used to cosplay characters mostly Gandalf the grey"

Hannah's heartily laughter rang in ghost-empty auditorium, which felt better than anything else in this world, Clay wanted to kiss her at that moment but he repressed those urges, he's still afraid of upsetting her in any manner.

"I knew it, Gandalf the nerd" said Hannah, and turned again around to keep moving

"one more name added to give-clay-a-new-name" said Clay while keeping up with her pace.

"I can give you a thousand names, even that wont be enough to describe you" said Hannah, both of them almost at gates

"If that's the matter then keep describing me" said Clay as they reached the gates, Hannah moved hand towards to open the gate but Clay stopped her by holding her shoulder to which Hannah turned around and looked at him with a questioning look "it's just I won't be able to talk to you if we go out, I'll have to behave like I'm really alone otherwise people will declare me mental, So I want to tell you something"

Hannah gave him a nod with a impassive look, "It's just I need to talk to Jessica about tapes and after that we can leave"

"Is that it??" Hannah asked 

"Yeah, that's all now you can open the door" said Clay

Hannah gave him a disappointing look before turning to gate, Clay got confused and he asked "what now??" but to that Hannah didn't reply just opened the gate and moved forward, Clay still confused followed her, with a little increased pace so he came beside her, still both of them moving towards lockers he asked her under his breath "what happened Hannah" without looking at him Hannah replied a simple and plain "Nothing" in a tone which frightened Clay to keep asking her, so he accepted the answer he got.

When they reached Clay's locker, he started rummaging his bag for some stuffs, Hannah standing beside him silently after a moment Hannah nudged him, he looked at her with a questioning look to which she answered as pointing her finger behind him to which he turned around and saw Bryce talking to Jessica, she looked totally uncomfortable in his presence but Bryce kept talking to her as he was leaning on the locker and was a just a bit distance away, when Jessica tried to leave, Bryce halted her by holding her hand, this time Bryce voice was audible to everyone as he was shouting "Come on Jess, I totally Don't understand, why you are ignoring me, even Justin got his knickers in a twist this time"

To everyone's Surprise out of nowhere Justin came and pushed away Bryce, making him lose Jessica's hand. Bryce laughed at that a mocking laugh, "now you want to fight Justin," Bryce said between his laughs

"You keep your distance from her, the far you are way the better it is" said Justin angrily 

Bryce opened his mouth to utter something but he was cut off as Jessica spoke " I don't need your help, and don't make any drama here please"

To which Bryce laughed, and said mockingly "ohhh, what the hell, the little hero got snapped by the princess, ohhh no no" 

To which Justin didn't responded Jessica left the place, after her leaving, Bryce went close to Justin and put his hands on Justin's shoulder which Justin shrugged off, 

"Hey, Justin we are brothers-"started Bryce but was cut off as Justin said "We're not"

"Just because of a girl you can't ruin our friendships dude, just forget about that bitch-" this time Bryce was cut off as Justin punched Bryce in his face which caused Bryce to stumble. Bryce instantly got control of his body, checked his nose which was bleeding now, to which he laughed and shouted "you are going to so regret it" and moved towards Justin.

Justin again tried to punch him but Bryce instantly grabbed Justin's hand, and the moment Bryce got hold of Justin's hand Bryce punched him in his face twice before speaking again "your cute face will be a pussy soon enough," and struck him over and over again in his face, until his face was all bloody, he held him for a second and said "now you look perfect" and threw him, on a locker, a loud bang rang through the corridor as everyone in silence watched the scene, Justin was on ground, with his bloody face on floor, he somehow managed to sat again with the support of lockers, Bryce was looking at the locker, there was blood stains on it, soon Clay realized too whose locker it was, but Bryce shouted again with a snort "ohhh, you ruined Hannah's locker, Justin, you know right soon that bitch will be around here"

Clay didn't even thought once before running towards Bryce and Bryce was totally oblivious about someone was coming for him, Clay's blood was boiling with rage, all his anger, all his resentment, was on it's peak the moment he was close enough to Bryce he threw himself on him and started punching him, with all his force, his hand were in Bryce walker's blood he was feeling satisfied in beating the shit out of Bryce the fucking walker, but those feelings didn't lasted more than some seconds as he was being pulled by some of the jocks and then thrown aside by them, he saw Monty and other jock friend of Bryce, helping Bryce standing up, he saw in his opposite direction Justin who seemed totally unsure of what really happened, he saw others gawking at him, he saw Hannah looking at him with a concerned look, but soon enough Bryce voice cut off his exploration.

"You wish to tell me Jensen, why you have chosen death" said Bryce mockingly

"if you ever even say Hannah's name again, I'll kill you" said Clay with a slow deadly voice 

In response Bryce laughed at him, Bryce jock friends laughed too mostly Monty, Clay saw Justin still sitting with support of locker, Clay saw Zach too who was standing between the bystanders, soon enough Bryce and his co's laugh faded, then Bryce spoke again with his usual demeanor "ohh, Clay you're wasting your energy on a wrong girl, but yeah once she gets out of her bed maybe you will get a chance to get naked-

Clay tried to punch him but just like as Bryce got hold of Justin's hand he got Clay's hand, then punched Clay in his face, Clay fell on the ground face down, he heard it again the laugh, it rang in his ears but Clay gradually stood up again, to which Bryce responded with a whistle, and shouted "So, here is Clay Jensen, who stands his fucking ground guys"

Clay looked around Hannah shook her head in his direction, there were tears in her eyes, clay said nothing he just stood there , he knew Bryce was just provoking him, nothing else.  
He saw Bryce massaging his knuckles, and without any further ado he punched Clay in face again, Clay fell to the ground again, when his vision cleared he saw Hannah coming in his direction to which Clay shouted with a "NO!!!", Hannah stopped but shouted back "Clay let me help you, please"

"NO, NO, PLEASE!!" Clay shouted again, he heard Bryce laugh again he looked around and saw everyone looking at him with confusion, he saw Justin looking at him with suspicion, he saw Zach looking at him with pity and Hannah defeated, "hey, Clay I loved your courage man, don't be a pussy so quickly, I was fucking enjoying it, don't you want to fuck Hannah anymore" 

Clay tried to punch Bryce again but Bryce got hold on his hand again, but this time when Bryce tried to punch him, someone punched Bryce in face which caused Bryce to stumble, to Clay's surprise it was Justin who helped him, Justin ducking Foley.

Bryce spit some blood, and said "You both don't like life anymore, do you" as Bryce tried to punch Justin this time clay kicked him in stomach, Bryce stumbled, but when he gained control of his body again he gave Clay a murderous look, Bryce's Jock friends joined him, Monty and two other jocks, Clay was going to get badly beaten, but right now he didn't care as he wasn't scared at all. 

Monty grabbed Clay by his shirt and pinned him on a locker on the other hand two others jocks pulled Justin in opposite direction, then Monty tried to punch but Clay ducked, and Monty's hand got smacked into locker which caused him to shout in pain "FUCK!!"

Then Bryce came towards Clay, cracking his knuckles, but to Clay's surprise out of nowhere Tony came and pushed Bryce with so much strength that Bryce fell to the ground, Clay instantly turned in Justin's direction to help him who was still held by two other jocks, Clay threw himself on one of the jocks and Justin started fighting with other, Clay punched the jock who punched him too, but soon enough Justin came to his aid as he kicked the jock in stomach, Clay got free and he saw Tony punching Bryce in his face but Monty from behind kicked tony in back, and Bryce on the other hand stood up with the help of lockers, still panting.

Clay turned in Tony's direction who was trying to stand up too but Monty kicked him again to help Tony Clay stood up, but someone with a book hit Monty on his head knocking him down then helping Tony stand up, when the boy turned around he was Alex Standall who helped Tony, Clay looked behind him one of the jocks was still on ground other was fighting with Justin, But in that moment everyone stopped as they all heard a shriek "FUCKKKK!!"

Clay turned around and saw Bryce sprawled on the floor, withering in agony, both of his hands were on his testicle, still shouting in pain, and beside him Hannah was standing, looking down at his body with no mercy and said with a deadly voice "don't you ever dare to touch him"


	7. The TALKS and Dont be Stupid.

The TALKS

“WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING, HERE” someone shouted from behind Clay, he instantly turned around and saw Mr. Porter with Zach, Mr. Porter was hurriedly coming in his direction, he halted when he saw Bryce on floor with his hand covering his testicles, he looked around and saw Justin in blood, one of the jocks on floor, the other leaning on a locker with a broken nose, then Mr. Porter eyes fell on Monty who was on floor massaging his head beside him, Tony and Alex who were standing together, the later with a smile. Mr. Porter finally looked at Clay with a disappointed look, then looked at everybody around, and shouted “Everybody out and you all with bloodied faces and broken noses come with me”

After entering Mr. Porter office

Mr. Porter scolded everyone for five minutes, then Principal came and he scolded everyone before sending them home as some of them needed medical help, but everyone was suspended from school for a week.

The moment Clay left room, Hannah grabbed his hand and pulled him towards an empty classroom, he looked behind he saw Alex, Tony and Justin looking at him confusingly, as he was moving awkwardly, as they can’t see Hannah So for them he was walking with his body leaned at his right hand and looked like as he was forced to walk in that particular direction.

Hannah pushed Clay into the room further after entering and closing the door and shouted “WERE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!, What were you thinking, you behaved really recklessly Clay, look at your face” Clay didn’t utter a single word just stood there staring at her while she was shouting at him, She suddenly stopped to which Clay reacted instantly “Umm, I’m sorry” Clay said while scratching his head.

Hannah sighed and looked at him, she moved her hand towards his face and smoothly touched the bruises, looked into his eyes with another worried look, and said “Clay, It’s just I know you hate him, I know you care about me but I can’t see you in pain” Clay moved his hand up and cupped her hand, and said “ Your single touch can relief me of any pain, and you were violent too there, You broke his balls” to which Hannah laughed.

Clay and Hannah came out of the empty classroom, the first thing both of them saw was Tony still standing there. Tony the moment he saw Clay out of the gate he came toward him and asked “What was that”

“What was what” asked Clay back to avoid the situation he added “where did Justin and Alex go”

“They left after you did your awkward walk, I waited to really know what caused it” said Tony

“Actually nothing, just I had pain in some of my body parts so just had to walk that way,” said Clay

“why did you go to the room” asked Tony

Clay looked at Hannah who was openly laughing, as no one was able to see her, she was free to do anything, Clay shook his head, then looked at Tony again who was now looking at thin air beside clay and seemed very confused, he definitely noticed Clay’s sideways glance, Clay cleared his throat which pulled Tony’s attention toward him, Tony was giving him very skeptical look.

“As I told you, I was in pain So I just needed some rest” said Clay and added “ and I need to talk to Jessica, I’ll see you later” Clay walked past Tony not even waiting for his response.

“Hannah soon everyone will think I’m insane or something, if you keep doing things” said Clay under his breath while walking.

“It was fun to watch you explain everything” said Hannah with a grin

Clay just shook his head and kept walking as he needed to find Jessica he wandered in almost every corner of school but he came across her at school playground.

“Hey, Jess can we talk??” asked Clay

“there is nothing left to talk” said Jessica with a impassive look

“I know but this is something, I’ve to ask you” said Clay “please, I just need your Five minutes of time”

Jessica gave it a thought and said “Okay”

Both of them found a place to have a private chat in far end of benches where no one was around then Clay spoke when he was sure they have their privacy “I listened twelfth tape yesterday night, I know what Bryce did to Hannah”

Jessica gave him a sorrowful look and said nothing Clay took this as his cue and said “I don’t know what you want but I really want justice for Hannah” he looked at her, Hannah was looking at Jessica with a sorry look, then she looked at him and said “tell her, I’m sorry, that I failed her that night” “As far as I know she is sorry that she failed you” added Clay

“I don’t know what she feels about me, but Clay now I know what Bryce did to me, it doesn’t mean I want everyone to know that too” said Jessica

“But, but he needs to be punished Jess, you know that, you don’t want him to be free after what pain he gave you” said Clay with desperation, she was his hope to put Bryce behind bars as soon as possible.

“I don’t know And I’m sorry but I can’t do this Clay” said Jessica with almost tears in her eyes

“But-

“Don’t push her clay” said Hannah 

“Okay, If you aren’t ready, it’s alright jess, I totally understand you” said Clay

“Thanks Clay, what about the tapes” said Jess

“I haven’t heard the thirteenth tape yet, after that I don’t know what I should do, as far as I know Hannah’s parents deserve the truth, but nothing will come to you I can promise you that” said Clay before standing up, Jess too stood up and left.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Don’t be Stupid.

After talking to Jessica Clay and Hannah were on their way to Clay’s home. 

“What should we do now” asked Hannah suddenly coming in front of Clay and started walking backwards.

“Whatever you want” replied Clay simply

“then let’s go to some place and eat” said Hannah

“think something of more private, we can’t expect people to cooperate with flying food and plates” said Clay

Hannah rolled her eyes and said with a finality in her voice “I want to eat in a public place”

“That’s not happening” said Clay ignoring her irritated look, she stopped moving backwards which caused Clay to stop as well  
“You told me we will do whatever I want” said Hannah indignantly

“I did but don’t be stupid Hannah, that’s going to cause trouble that’s all” said Clay and walked past her and added “now come on” 

It’s been two hours since they had a disagreement, Hannah hasn’t talked to him for last two hours over it. Clay in starting tried to talk to her but every time she glared at him So he just gave up and started using his laptop. Hannah was on bed reading some of his comics, In the starting Clay was reading some blogs, related to mind and consciousness, but now he some got into pages where magic and every absurd thing was mentioned but he kept reading for the sake of passing time, he looked around saw Hannah laughing at some joke in comics, she seemed happy but she won’t talk to him because of her some absurd wish, Clay wanted to talk to her so badly that once he even considered going to restaurant for her sake, but then he had a vision of the chaos which can be caused by this stupid idea. Clay rubbed his eyes, looked around for anything which can help him to pass his time but still he had one thought in his mind how to make it up to Hannah, suddenly a thought occurred in his mind, he instantly got his phone out of pocket and called Tony.

After half an hour, Clay was sitting in front of gate, when fifteen minutes ago Clay was leaving his room, Hannah did look at him but she did not ask anything. When door bell rang, Clay instantly reacted and opened the gate, Tony was there with a lot of bags with him, and with a questioning look, but Clay said with a smile “Thank you very much Tony, now just give me those bags, you must be pretty tired” 

“No, no no first give me, why you asked me to do this” said Tony

“Tony, come in, let’s sit then talk” said Clay

Tony entered Clay’s house and followed Clay into drawing room where Clay gestured him to put bags on table and sit on the couch Clay went into kitchen, opened fridge and took some drinks out for Tony, Clay entered drawing room again, then offered drink to Tony who instantly accepted as he seemed exhausted with all the wandering. After finishing his drink Tony looked at Clay again, with the same questioning look.

Clay sighed before speaking “Even, if I tell you, you won’t believe me  
“  
“Try me” said Tony 

“See right now, I don’t even know I can tell you or not, but once Hannah is alright we will both tell you everything” said Clay with hope Tony won’t ask anymore.

“Okay, but I still don’t understand why all this food is required and why I was told over call that your life depended on it” asked Tony with indignation

“Tony really you won’t trust me or believe, it’s better you just ignore me for it right now and I promise you I’ll make it up to you, mate” said Clay with hope over hope Tony won’t ask anymore

Tony gave Clay a look before standing up and saying “okay, but I’m not helping you anymore with anything until you tell me the why” 

After Tony left Clay called his mother asking her when she will be around but yes it was risky as he has already received multiple calls from his mother who scolded him over mobile for a healthy five minutes for not picking up phone, then for another ten minutes for picking up a fight in school. 

“okay, mom will you please tell me how late you will be tonight” he asked 

“I’m almost home” replied his mother 

“WHAT” shouted Clay then added instantly “but why I thought you will be late tonight as well as dad”

“But now no one is, your dad is also on his way, after hearing about your fight we tried to contact you but you didn’t answered so we decided to just come home” his mom said angrily  
Clay ended the call, and looked at the packed food which tony brought here and said “what now”

“So your mastermind plan failed, huh??” someone asked from behind him and who was this someone he very well knew.

“So, you knew all along” said Clay now disappointed over everything first his surprise was ruined by his very own parent and now with Hannah coming and telling she always knew.

“I love your surprise by the way” said Hannah cheerfully


	8. ToGether and TH1RTEENTH R3ASON

TOGETHER 

“Yeah, but now our dinner is ruined as my mom will be here anytime” said Clay with disappointment

“Who says we can do- Hannah was cut off by the sound of doorbell

“We can do what” said Clay urgently

“You just go and let your mom in, I’ll do rest” said Hannah, Clay gave her a thumbs up and left for opening the door, he knew what was coming the moment the door opened his mom looked at his face covered with cuts and bruises and started scolding him for becoming so reckless, after almost ten minutes his mother calmly asked “now please tell me why did you fight”

“It just happened” said Clay 

“Just happened” repeated Mrs. Jensen incredulously 

“just the guy provoked me a bit, I lashed out” said Clay looking at floor  
“Provoke you, but how??” asked Mrs. Jensen 

Clay looked up, and said “Mom, can we talk about this later, right now I don’t feel like it”

Mrs. Jensen gave it a thought then she said “Okay, but you will have to tell me”

The moment those words came out, Clay turned around ran towards stair and up he heard his mother shouting “Clay don’t run in house” 

Clay entered and saw, Hannah standing beside his bed with a smile plastered on her face, his bed was covered with foods most of it was fast food but still he was starving, he just wanted to eat.

“How is my surprise” said Clay moving ahead and settling himself on one side of bed

“It’s beautiful, but I did all the hard work” said Hannah as she settled herself beside Clay.

“Yeah, now can we start??” asked Clay but before Hannah can even utter a single word, he picked up a burger and started munching it, Hannah gave him a glare which he ignored still focusing on eating, Hannah punched him on his shoulder

“Ouch, Can’t you let someone eat properly” said Clay with a mocking glare

“What about me” said Hannah

“Just grab whatever and eat” said Clay matter of factly

“I want you to be my hand” said Hannah impassively, Clay choked on his food, and started coughing Hannah instantly gave him a bottle of water which Clay drank gradually.

“Are you Okay” asked Hannah, with a concerned look her hand on his back.

“Yeah, I’m it is just, you want me to help you to eat, is that what you meant” asked Clay nervously

“You choked on the thought of helping me eat, isn’t it” asked Hannah smiling

“No, no it’s just, I choked because I didn’t expected it’ said Clay hurriedly

“Okay, helmet I’m starving so would you please mind helping me” asked Hannah, Clay hurriedly picked up a fresh burger to which Hannah shook her head, Clay confusingly looked at her to which she responded by pointing her finger at Clay’s half eaten burger, Clay put down the fresh burger and picked up the one he was eating before, Clay gulped the air around him then moved his hand, which was slightly trembling, he didn’t even knew why, but somehow his hand reached her mouth, then she took a bite from burger, and chew. She then took burger from Clay’s hand and asked him to open his mouth. Both of them fed each other that night. 

After eating Hannah was preparing the bed, Clay was standing beside his couch, watching her doing everything, he told her he will do it but she declined and asked him to just stand aside, after a moment Hannah sat on bed and looked in his direction then said “Now, come on it’s ready”

“Actually I’m going to sleep over here today” said Clay while pointing towards his couch

“we talked this last night, I told you I don’t like sleeping alone” said Hannah disapprovingly 

“Hannah, you know I’m not good at it, you saw what I did today morning, it made me feel like I’m a pervert or maybe I’m, I just don’t think it’s a good idea to sleep together” said Clay 

“Look if you don’t come over here and sleep beside me, I’ll sleep in your couch with you then” said Hannah with a finality which made Clay shiver at the thought of she sleeping over him.

“Hannah that’s- started Clay but he was cut off by Hannah as she said “ I really don’t care but I’ll come to the couch if you don’t come over here”  
Clay sighed, then walked towards his bed he saw Hannah’s smirk, He didn’t know what to feel he just doesn’t want to cum again while sleeping with her.

When he lied down, she just came closer to him then put her head on his shoulder and one hand over his chest, the same way she did yesterday night.

“What are you thinking” she asked 

“nothing, just about the thirteenth tape, I haven’t heard that yet,” said clay looking at her hair, but she looked up, their eyes got linked, then she said “Yeah, what you will do after that” 

“what do you want me to” asked Clay their eyes were still linked but Hannah broke it before speaking “it’s your decision to make”

“But I’m asking you” said Clay

“don’t ask just do as you have been always doing” said Hannah 

“Okay” said Clay

“Hmm” said Hannah

“What about getting you back into your body” asked Clay

“What about it” asked Hannah

“if I hold your hand you will be able to get back into your body” said Clay

“Why do you want me to go back in my body” asked Hannah 

“You are maybe here Hannah but you still have to be alive, really alive” said Clay 

“what if I get stuck in comma” asked Hannah

“that’s the only reason which is stopping me to do it” said Clay

“What if you do it and I get stuck in my own body with a comma, will you come and visit me ” asked Hannah 

“ Hannah I know, you will be out of your bed, we just have to figure it out” said Clay with a smile as she looked up at him and smiled.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

TH1RTEENTH R3ASON 

Clay was glad nothing shitty happened this morning while he looked under his blanket.

“Found something” he heard her voice

Clay instantly dropped the blanket, looked around and nervously said “nothing, I was just” He trailed off as he didn’t got any idea of what to say.

Hannah smiled and shuffled his hair, and said “I’m going to sleep a bit more wake me up after some time”

“okay” said Clay, after five minutes of Hannah going back to sleep, Clay carefully, got himself out of his bed.

After a look at Hannah Clay took out the Walkman, Then took out the seventh cassette and put it into Walkman, he took a deep breath before pressing the play button.

After listening to the tape Clay straight went to his washroom for bath, after bath he grabbed some food for breakfast, his mother asked him to sit and eat at the table but he declined and straight went to his room, where Hannah was stretching her arms, yawning then rubbing her eyes before noticing Clay standing at threshold with plates full of toast and eggs. She patted the bed beside her, gesturing Clay to come and sit, Clay instantly obeyed.

When Clay settled himself he told her to start eating but she simply looked at him, which he understood why??.

After feeding each other Clay told her what he has planned to do. 

“You are going to meet Mr. Porter and tell him everything instead of sending cassettes to him” asked Hannah 

“Yes, that’s what I intend to do” replied Clay

“But Clay, weren’t you not allowed in school” asked Hannah, with biting her lower lip.

“I very well know, don’t worry no one will notice” said Clay before getting one of his hoodies out of cupboard, Hannah just nodded to it in answer.

Clay was standing out of his school gate with his hoodie on, Hannah beside him, he looked at her before going in, he ignored everyone he knew, no one knows him that nicely but some of his stunts are making him quite recognized now like getting beaten up or fighting with jocks or when one day he was touring some new students, school he ranted which someone recorded and sent it to everyone.

When Clay reached Mr. Porter’s office he opened the gate without knocking and he saw Mr. Porter surprisingly looking at him, Clay removed his hoodie from his head, then moved ahead to sit, to his surprise Mr. Porter didn’t say a thing he was just sitting there looking at him.

After Clay settled himself on a chair, beside him Hannah sat. He looked at Mr. Porter again who quite seemed waiting for him to speak.

“We need to talk” said Clay impassively 

“That’s all right but Clay you were told to not come to school” said Mr. Porter with his brows raised

“I know, I’m not attending any Class, I’m just here to have a conversation with you after that I’ll leave” said Clay.

Mr. Porter looked at him then sighed and spoke “Ok, how can I help you??”

“It’s about Hannah” said Clay

“What??” 

“She came here before she did it, isn’t it” said Clay, to which Clay got no response so he resumed “she came here and talked to you”

“Yes, she was here we talked, I’m still sorry about it, that I wasn’t able to help her” said Mr. Porter 

Clay ignored it and said “she told you what happened with her, she came here for your help”

“I don’t know how you know all this but in despair every thought is baseless, Clay” said Mr. Porter still looking confused

“She bloody told you she was rapped” said Clay angrilly he didn’t looked at Hannah once after starting talking to him, he can’t look at her when he has to rethink everything.

“I-I tried to help her but-

“Yeah, move on, isn’t that a nice solution” shouted Clay

“I know moving is on isn’t easy but that was the only other option” said Mr. Porter a bit louder

“You knew what she was going through you could have really helped her but No, now she is in hospital” shouted Clay a bit louder than he expected, and he felt Hannah’s hand on his shoulder, which calmed him down a bit.

“Clay, I don’t know what to say but I know I failed her, I know I could’ve helped her but I wasn’t able to because I never thought she could take such a step, I could’ve helped her getting justice but she wasn’t able to tell the name” said Mr. Porter calmly with tired eyes.

“Bryce walker” said Clay impassively 

“What??” asked Mr. Porter

“BRYCE BLOODY WALKER!” shouted Clay, Hannah removed her hand from his shoulder he felt a bit disappointed and angry, but soon enough he felt Hannah’s fingers finding his, then interlocking themselves. He still didn’t look at her.

“That’s a serious accusation on a student, Clay” said Mr. Porter looking at Clay with a worried eyes

“I know he did it, Hannah told me I take her word for it, you didn’t and see where it led her” said Clay and added “do you want to know what happened after she left” 

Mr. Porter looked at him confusingly, which Clay took as his cue and started speaking “when she left, she waited outside your office thinking you will stop her but you didn’t, then she left her uniform at Crestmont, when I was working but I didn’t stopped her either, after that she posted something to someone and left a package at one friend’s doorstep, in Last she went to her home, she changed her clothes with some old clothes, cleaned her room just to make sure no one has to do it for her, she filled her bathtub with water, grabbed some razors which sh-she used to cu-cut her both forearms while ly-lying in bathtub” Clay finished with almost shaking voice, Mr. Porter had tears in his eyes, he was covered in sweat, his forehead was drenched with sweat

Mr. Porter wiped sweat from his forehead by his handkerchief looked at Clay, making an eye contact before he calmly said “Clay I don’t know why you are thinking all this” 

“I’m thinking, nothing” said Clay then looked at Hannah for the first time, she had worry in her eyes for him, she had tear stains over her cheeks, her grip tightening as Clay was looking at her, then Clay squeezed her hand before letting her hand go, picked up his bag, then he took out the box from his bag and put it on table, he then pushed box ahead towards Mr. Porter, after that he took Hannah’s hand in his hand without looking at her.

“What is it” asked Mr. Porter  
Confusingly looking at box

“Hannah recorded thirteen reasons why she wanted to kill herself, these are the tapes of those recording she just wanted everyone to listen how they failed her, she failed in killing herself but still these are the reason why she is in comma” said Clay impassively

“How did you get this” asked Mr. Porter

“I’m as responsible as you are in her attempt at suicide” replied Clay, Hannah squeezed his hand so tightly that his hand ached, but he didn’t respond to it and added at Mr. Porter’s desperate look “ You are number thirteen and I’m eleven”

Mr. Porter didn’t speak anything, he seemed lost, so Clay just stood up with him, Hannah as they were still holding hands, he had done what he planned for, Mr. Porter looked at him with a pained expression, Clay felt sorry towards him. Clay still hadn’t looked in Hannah’s direction except once, when he was giving Mr. Porter tapes, he moved ahead Hannah beside him hand-in-hand , when Clay reached door he turned around and looked at Mr. Porter who was holding one of the tapes, and said “Now, get her some Justice” then left.


	9. The DRIVE and FLASHBACK

The DRIVE

Clay was standing on the road in front of his school, looking at his and Hannah’s interlocked hands, then somehow he looked at her face, she was looking at him with worry, with concern and yet there was something in her eyes which Clay wasn’t able to understand, but he felt better than ever, when she smiled at him, it was a sad smile but beautiful. 

They didn’t talk at all on their way to Clay’s home, just holding each other’s hand firmly, their fingers entwined. When they reached Clay’s home, both looked at each other simultaneously and smiled.

Clay brought two water bottles for him and Hannah, he threw one at Hannah who caught it nicely, with one hand.

“Whao! You’re a pretty amazing catcher” said Clay with a impressed smile

“I already know that, nerd’ she replied with a smirk

“Okay,” said Clay, and added after clearing his throat “ I wanted to ask you if I can send your parents, Um tapes”

“Yes you can, I told you it’s your decisions from now on, you don’t have to ask me anything” replied Hannah simply 

“Okay,” said Clay before he took out his mobile, then he texted tony that “you can go and give Hannah’s parents, recording’s,” Tony responded him with an “alright” then Clay put his mobile aside, for just having some fun with Hannah. 

Clay and Hannah read some of his comics together for Hannah’s pleasure he acted as some of the characters, Hannah also helped him by playing some characters.

“we are doing it for like last two hours, you have finally made me a nerd like you” said Hannah 

“what’s the problem in being a nerd” said Clay challengingly

“none at all, nerd” replied Hannah with a cute and innocent smile, to which Clay laughed, Hannah joined him too in his laughter after a moment, suddenly Clay’s phone started ringing, he picked up his phone and saw Tony calling him he pressed answer and put the phone on speaker.

“There is some trouble, Clay” said Tony, his voiced seemed agitated

“What trouble” asked Clay he looked at Hannah, she was also listening intently 

“Just come out” said Tony

“Bu Tony-

“Just come out, Clay there is not but or time” 

“Okay,” replied Clay and ended the call, he looked at Hannah who was looking worried, Clay himself knew he was looking the same way she is, they both hurriedly got out of his room, down the stairs and out of his home in an instant, he saw Tony’s red mustang, Clay instantly crossed the road towards his car, he saw tony sitting in driver’s seat , he heard tony shouting “just get in the car” Clay looked at him but the moment he touched the gate he moved his hand away, tony gave him a perplexed look, and said “what are you waiting for”

Which Clay ignored and looked at Hannah who gave him a questioning look but Clay flushed and Hannah understood why?? After one look at Tony’s red mustang, Hannah simply said “Just Clay stop flushing and opened the damn gate otherwise I will”

Clay looked at her, he knew she was being serious so with a trembling hand he opened the gate and sat on seat beside Tony, “close the gate”   
But Clay didn’t as Hannah came in and settled herself on Clay’s lap, Clay was sitting awkwardly, he looked beside him, Tony was looking at him with confusion but after a second Tony just shook his head and said “just, close the door” Hannah closed the door, Clay was glad Tony wasn’t looking in his direction otherwise Tony would’ve seen and thought the door closed itself automatically, then freaked out.

Tony started the car, Clay was sitting awkwardly, his back was leaned on seatback, as Hannah was comfortably seated leaning on his chest, she has also put his hands on her laps because of that Clay was blushing, he was glad about Hannah not able to see his face. Two or three minutes later in drive he heard Tony “why are you blushing with your hand in air” 

“What, who is blushing-

“I know you are blushing no need to hide” Hannah cut him off

“No, I’m not” said Clay

“Yes, you are “ said Hannah

“No Hannah-

“why are you being so weird lately” this time Tony cut him off 

“You were suppose to tell me, something” said Clay instantly remembering how Tony asked him to come out and for just the sake of changing the damn topic

“Yes, I know” said Tony, while turning left the car on road

“So just tell now” said Clay

“I just thought it would be better if we fget there first” said Tony

“Where” asked Clay

“Just watch the way” said Tony   
After some minutes of watching the road, Clay realised where they were headed but he didn’t ask Tony, he didn’t want a confirmation, he was wishing just for best, he was wishing Tony is taking him somewhere else, he was wishing for nothing serious, but his wishes were unfulfilled as Tony stopped his car in the parking of hospital, the moment Tony stopped Car’s engine, Clay looked at Hannah, then he realised something else too, his arms were folded around Hannah’s stomach.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Flashback

Clay looked at Tony with a desperate questioning look, Tony cleared his throat, then said “Okay, just be calm, I-I’ll tell you everything”, Clay nodded, he so desperately wanted to know everything he was damn sure something terrible happened his arms around Hannah were tightly folded he wasn’t going to let her go to his surprise Hannah wasn’t complaining about it, but he wasn’t shocked as so many things which he never even imagined can happen are happening.

Two hours and thirty minutes ago

Tony’s P.O.V

“you can go and give Hannah’s parents, recording’s”

Tony saw the text from Clay, he was in his car listening to songs when Clay texted him, So it’s time now to unveil the truth, it’s a tough job but Tony has to do it. He texted back Clay an alright before he took out a pen drive, he looked at it for a minute before closing his fist around it, then he started his Car on his way to hospital as he knew Mrs. Baker is always there.

He entered hospital building, walked a bit but then stopped as his thoughts were killing him “how I’m suppose to tell everything, how I’ll make her understand I wasn’t hiding anything I was just doing what Hannah asked, he stood there thinking everything over and over again then he heard a lady’s voice which broke his thought stream “Excuse me, can I help you” he turned around and saw he was standing just in front of receptionist desk, he just shook his head and walked away from desk, then he took stairs instead of lift for just getting some more time before he has to talk to Mrs. Baker.   
When he reached fifth floor he took a deep breath and released it before moving forward, he saw Mr. Baker standing out of Hannah’s room, Mr. Baker looked distress, Tony knew usually at this time Mr. Baker is always at his store but him being here is can not be good, So Tony  
Approached Mr. Baker, Tony was just almost beside him but Mr. Baker was deep in thought, not realizing Tony was there, he cleared his throat which caused Mr. Baker to look at Tony.

“Oh, Hii” said Mr. Baker, looking tired.

“I’m sorry but I needed to talk to you and Mrs. Baker” said Tony

“Okay,” said Mr. Baker “what’s it about”

“It’s about Hannah” said Tony

“What about her” asked Mr. Baker not looking so tired now after hearing Hannah’s name

“it would be better, If I tell you both together” said Tony

“No, No” said Mr. Baker instantly “she is already in despair,”

“What happened, is Hannah alright??” asked Tony now starting to realize something is wrong.

“It-it can be my dau-daughter’s last ni-night” said Mr. Baker with pain in his eyes, his lips were shivering, he looked like he wanted to cry but somehow he was restraining himself.

Tony didn’t know what to say, he has lost words, nothing came out of his mouth but somehow Mr. Baker noticed his anxiety so he spoke “ Doctors are saying her mind is not responding to her body”

Tony now was more confused and anxious, her mind not responding to her body, he didn’t understand anything so he asked “how??” 

“Doctors were monitoring her for last two days constantly as she instantly showed signs of recovery but suddenly her health again started to get worse. They found out her mind is not responding to her body but she is still alive, which startled most of the doctors as that’s impossible but they thought her body is surviving somehow and which will stop happening soon, as per them tonight is the last night she is going to live”

Tony just was looking at Mr. Baker he didn’t know what to say or how to say but somehow he said “Mr. Baker I’m really sorry, for what’s happening, for what happened and for what I hid from you” Mr. Baker confusingly looked at him, Tony continued “Actually Hannah didn’t left a note before trying to kill herself but she did left something,”

“What??” asked Mr. Baker 

Tony took out something from his pocket, his fist was closed, he opened his fist in front of Mr. Baker, on his palm there was a pen drive sitting, then he said “ Her Thirteen Reasons”


	10. Why not??

Why not???

“I’m dying” mumbled Hannah

“No, no you’re not” said Clay a bit louder than he intended

“I’m not, what” said Tony looking at Clay confusingly

“Well, this can’t be true she just can’t die” said Clay desperately looking in Tony's direction, while his grip was tightening around Hannah.

Tony looked at him with pity and said nothing just patted on his shoulder, Clay wasn’t able to understand anything, everything was just so confusing. He can’t lose her now, she can’t just go away now after what’s happening, after she knows she is loved, he just can’t let her go. Clay looked at Hannah, in her eyes there was pain, there was fear.

“I won’t let you die” said Clay, looking into her eyes, she just nodded, Clay looked in Tony's direction who was still out of words, but Tony just said at last “Clay, maybe you should go and see her”

Clay nodded, then looked at Hannah she understood and opened the door, Clay didn’t even care this time about what if Tony sees his car door opening itself automatically, first Hannah got herself out of car then Clay . He took Hannah's hand in his and started walking towards hospital, when they were almost at entrance Clay stopped and dropped Hannah’s hand and looked at Hannah

“Hannah, this is the time when you have to go back in your body” said Clay impassively

Hannah took a moment before saying “maybe you are right but what if I die even after getting in my body or I get stuck in my body with comma or what if I don’t even get in my body”

“We don’t know anything yet, but Hannah this is our only best chance” said Clay with hopelessness

“Are you sure??” asked Hannah looking into his eyes

“Yes, I’m, I-I don’t know why but it’s just going to be alright, just trust me on this” replied Clay

“I trust you, Clay” said Hannah with affection “ I’m just a bit afraid”

“don’t be afraid” said Clay, while grabbing Hannah’s hand and firmly squeezing.

They entered hospital together, then walked straight towards lift. 

“Ding” FIFTH FLOOR

The door opened of lift, Clay took a deep breath before exiting lift with Hannah, the corridor was dead empty no one was there, they walked towards Hannah’s room, their hands were laced together, Hannah's room was just two rooms away from lift on right hand side.

When Clay and Hannah reached the door they saw someone inside with Hannah as door was a bit ajar, when Clay looked closely he realised it was Mrs. Baker then he looked at Hannah beside him, she looked agitated and horrified at prospect of seeing her distressed mother.

Clay rubbed her back of hand with his thumb to ensure her everything is going to be fine in the end for which he, himself was hoping desperately .

Clay knocked on door for letting Mrs. Baker know that she isn’t alone anymore. Mrs. Baker turned around and looked at him, she was distressed beyond repair, on her cheeks there were stains of tears, her eyes were still wet, she didn’t even care to rub her eyes, Clay saw nothing in her puffy eyes other than depression and hopelessness. Beside him Hannah seemed broken when he looked at her, she was almost crying she looked like she wanted to hug her mother desperately.

“ohhh, Clay it’s-it’s a surprise seeing you here at this time” said Mrs. Baker while looking out of window 

“I-I just came because I heard what happened with Hannah” said Clay instantly not really knowing what he should say.

“What did you hear” asked Mrs. Baker abruptly 

“I heard th-that, Doctor gave up on her” said Clay dejectedly

“how, who told you” asked Mrs. Baker, looking at Clay for an answer

“Tony came here earlier and he had a talk with Mr. Baker” said Clay his eyes meeting Mrs. Baker's for the first time, she relaxed a bit after Clay’s response.

“You can meet her” said Mrs. Baker instantly changing the topic, Clay was a bit surprised but nonetheless he nodded towards Mrs. Baker before approaching Hannah’s bed.

Hannah’s mother stood up for letting Clay sit on chair beside Hannah’s bed on any other day Clay would’ve denied but today he just didn’t give a thought before sitting, his eyes were on Hannah who was laying on her bed unconscious, her skin was pale and thin , her face was not shining as it usually does. Clay looked beside him at Hannah she was shocked as well seeing her body like this.

“are you sure” he heard Hannah's voice

Clay didn’t look at Hannah beside him, he was still looking at her body on bed, “Yes, I just want you to know” he shifted his eyes on Hannah beside her before continuing ”I love you”

His and Hannah eyes were locked, in her there was pain, but she didn’t look afraid anymore, there lips were mere inches apart soon Hannah closed the distance between them as he felt Hannah’s lips on his, she kissed him for mere seconds but he felt like it happened for an eternity.

He looked at Hannah she had tears in her eyes, he needed courage this time he can’t let her go but he can’t let her die either, he had a tough choice to make and he had already made it now it’s time to apply that choice, he one last time looked at Hannah who was still looking at him, then he looked at bed on unconscious body of Hannah, he mustered all his courage before moving his hands to reach Hannah's body's hand, his hands were shivering, he somehow reached Hannah's hand and hold it firmly, he looked beside him, nothing happened there Hannah was still sitting, she was looking at him, he was shocked, it should work it worked last time, why it’s not working this time, she should be in her body not out of it but before he can think further he saw Hannah holding her hand in front of him, it was fading, she was shocked her eyes were interlocked with Clay's surprised eyes, Clay didn’t know what to feel about it, in front of his eyes Hannah was fading away going in her body once again and he doesn’t even know what’s going to happen next

“Clay” said Hannah her voice was fading as well , she was now transparent, almost gone "I wasn't afraid when I tried to kill myself but now I'm afraid of dying of losing my parents and friends and" she was almost gone but she took a deep breath before saying "I love-

She was gone, he knew what she wanted to say but now she wasn't there anymore, she disappeared in thin air in front of his eyes.

Clay's eyes were still fixed at the same spot where Hannah was some moments ago, he was confused about what's going to happen now, he doesn't even know she is in her body or not, he was desperate for anything to happen, he gradually shifted his eyes on Hannah's body, he looked at her body which still looked lifeless, he looked at her closed eyes, he knew he was going to cry, he knew he wasn't alone, Mrs. Baker was also there and he knew she was looking at him confusingly but he didn't look in her direction, he was looking at Hannah's face, he felt tears on his cheeks but suddenly the grip on his hand tightened, he instantly looked at his and Hannah's intertwined hand, he felt Hannah's finger tightening around his fingers, then he looked at Hannah's face, which stirred a bit as well then in a sudden moment her eyes opened which looked directly into his own, he lost himself into her deep blue eyes until a figure engulfed Hannah into her arms, Mrs. baker didn't lose her grip on Hannah for a moment, she was all over Hannah, uttering soothing words in her sore voice for some minutes before she let her go. 

"Hannah, my baby" said Mrs. Baker still holding Hannah by her arms 

"mom, I'm alright" said Hannah with a voice which totally indicated that she needed doctor assistance right now.

"I'll call the doctor" said Clay, Mrs. Baker nodded in his direction and he left. 

Clay after getting out of the room saw a nurse outside other room talking to a man, he went to her and said "Miss, Can you please call the doctor" 

Nurse looked at him and asked " which patient??" 

"Hannah baker, she woke up from her comma" said Clay 

"Okay" said nurse with a bewildered expression before she left in hurry

Clay went back into Hannah's room, her mother was talking to her, but Hannah noticed him and started looking into his direction, but this wasn't her usual way of looking at him, she was looking at him with confusion and in a questioning way, there was no affection, fun or love in her eyes like before, which kind of made Clay uncomfortable, it made him confused as well at noticing there was no change in Hannah's eyes Clay at last ended up saying "Hey, Hannah"

"Hii" said Hannah, Clay didn't know now what to say now, still her eyes were making him uncomfortable, the sound of uneasiness in her voice made him more confused. 

"Yeah, " said Clay at last not knowing what to say 

"I'm sorry but I don't know who you are??" said Hannah with a apologetic tone. 

Clay looked at her confusingly but before Clay can say anything, Mrs. Baker spoke "Hannah, why are you kidding, he's your friend Helmet" 

Helmet, how does she know about it Clay thought to himself 

"Helmet" said Hannah looking at her mother now with bewilderment "what's that" 

Mrs. Baker looked at Hannah for a moment before saying " His name is Clay," 

"Clay" said Hannah while looking at Clay, 

Clay wasn't able to understand anything, Hannah's voice seemed him to like she was speaking his name for first time or she has heard a name Clay for first time, he didn't know what to say, Mrs. Baker was looking at him, he waited for a moment before speaking "Hannah I'm Clay, we are friends" 

Hannah put her palm on her temple before speaking, " but I've never seen you before today" 

"Hannah we have worked in same place" said Clay with unintended sharpness in his voice 

"But, But I-I really don't remember anything" said Hannah, her other hand as well on her forehead, she looked at her mother, "Am I forgetting things", She had tear in her eyes 

"Hannah, we are friends, we go to same place we used to work together, we share communication class' 

"I-I can't remember anything" said Hannah, her hands tightly around her forehead 

"Baby- Mrs Baker started saying but was cut off 

Clay ignored everything in his desperation and shouted "Hannah , I'M CLAY YOUR FRIEND, WE HAVE WORKED IN SAME PLACE- but before he can say any further he saw Hannah falling on her bed, and her body started trembling badly, Clay moved towards Hannah's bed and looked at Hannah, her eyes were still open her whole body was rigid her both arms were fixed on her both sides, and her whole body was trembling constantly, Mrs. Baker was trying to help Hannah by holding her body but she was also unable to really stop it but suddenly out of nowhere doctor appeared beside Clay and he started examining Hannah, giving instructions to the same nurse with whom Clay interacted before. 

After two minutes which felt like an eternity to Clay doctor was able to stop Hannah's trembling, Hannah was again unconscious, then doctor examined for few more minutes, then after two-three more minutes doctor asked both Clay and Mrs. Baker to follow him outside. 

The moment they were out of room Mrs. Baker asked "is my baby alright??" 

"she is fine it was just a seizure" said Doctor "she may have more I don't know the reason what caused it, so can you please tell how it happened, for how long she was awake" 

"it was me" said Clay, he knew right now Mrs. Baker was looking at him, but he was the cause of her seizure, he is ashamed of what he did, he shouted at her without any reason. 

"sorry" said Doctor confusingly looking at Clay, but before Clay say anything more, Mrs. Baker said "she just woke up I don't know how but she did, and we were just talking and she seemed like she has lost a bit of her memory as she wasn't able to recognize him, So we just tried to make her remember, in that all she just had an attack" 

Doctor stood there thinking for a while, then after a few minutes he said "maybe her trying too hard to remember things caused the seizure, So please don't let her think too much as far as I know she won't even remember what happened just now, So don't go try tell her anything, her mind will heal itself gradually but as far as I know she may gain her memories back someday or may not, and you should be really thankful that she somehow managed to survive, as now she seemed really healthy as her body is working fine, which is a miracle, soon we will do some more tests to check if everything is right or not" 

Mrs. Baker smiled and thanked doctor for his help before he left for giving further instructions to nurse. 

"Thank you very much, dear" said Mrs. Baker to Clay 

Clay was surprised at Mrs. Baker's gesture, shouldn't she hate him for causing Hannah pain. 

"but I messed up" said Clay "I forced her to remember" 

"you didn't mess up anything, you saved her life" said Mrs. Baker 

"she just woke up on her own" said Clay, really unsure of what to say 

"I don't know what really happened, but when you were sitting beside Hannah, it felt like you were really talking to her" said Mrs. Baker, in a way which showed she doesn't want any answer from him 

"I was just talking to myself, " said Clay, not feeling good about anything 

"I just know one thing Clay, that you mean so much to her" said Mrs. Baker totally changing the subject 

Clay was surprised at that bit of an information and abrupt change of subject. 

"did she tell you about me" asked Clay

"Not much, I just got this" said Mrs. Baker before unlocking her mobile to find something after a few minutes, Mrs. Baker gave Clay her mobile.. 

• Mom and Dad: They will blame themselves, and it's not their fault.

• New York: I could get there someday. If not college, then after college. And maybe I could start over there. 

• Clay: He will also think it's his fault, and it isn't. He'll think he could have saved me. But we can't save people, not that way at least - it's more complicated than that. 

• Writing: I might, might write something great one day. Get it published. Even be a writer. Seems unlikely - but possible. 

• Dad: Loves me without question. Always wants what's best for me. Even though I'm mad at him, it would be unfair to him to leave. 

• Mom: I don't know if she could live through it. She is always so on edge already. But maybe that's already my fault. I know she loves me - I wish she knew that I knew. 

• Mom and Dad: Worked so hard to give me a better life. Would be letting them down. 

• Helmet: Is a genuinely good guy. And I genuinely like him. And maybe we're supposed to be together. Don't know. But maybe. If I go, we'll never find out. 

• Maybe: Someday I could make a difference in someone else's life. 

• Maybe: I'll have a kid of my own one day, and maybe she could be that someone else. 

• Maybe: It's not as bad as I think it is. Maybe it will get better. 

Clay has read it twice, he didn't know what to say or do, he was just standing there, thinking why the hell it was just happening the way it is, why not in a different manner, where Hannah never had to go through things she had, why not in a different way??? 

"she mentioned you twice as I confirmed you are helmet of her, some minutes ago" said Mrs. Baker 

"I don't know, but it's just, I won't come and try to talk her until she has her memories back about me, I don't want her to suffer any more pain, just please let me know when she knows me" said Clay instantly, his voice was desperate he knew. 

"I'll let you know Clay, she will recover soon enough" said Mrs. Baker 

"I should leave now, it's getting late" said Clay 

"Okay dear, go safe- Mrs. Baker was cut off by Mr. Baker as he came from nowhere, he spoke while panting "how-how is she" 

"She is fine and where were you??" said Mrs. Baker, but without answering, Mr. Baker hurriedly opened Hannah's room door and went inside, Mrs. Baker looked at Clay and said "Go safely dear" then she followed her husband in hurry. 

7 DAYS LATER 

Clay was sitting in his room, fidgeting a pen on his fingertips, it has been seven days since he last saw her, he hadn't go to hospital after that, everyday he texted Mrs. Baker for any improvement but still Hannah doesn't remember him, she was discharged from hospital three days ago, she is at home right now. 

"Ding" 

Clay grabbed his mobile in an instant after hearing the bell, he opened his mobile and saw a text from Mrs. Baker   
"can we meet at Monet, sharp 2 'o' clock. 

Clay replied with a "Yes" 

Clay was sitting on a Chair in Monet's , looking out of window he came early almost fifteen minutes before, he didn't order anything and knew soon Mrs. Baker will be here as well, after some more minutes, he saw Mrs. Baker coming through door. 

"Good afternoon" Mrs. Baker greeted him when she reached his table and sat on a chair across him

"Good afternoon" said Clay with a smile. 

"let's order something first" said Mrs. Baker and then ordered two cold coffees after asking Clay. 

"So," said Clay after gulping a bit of coffee 

Mrs. Baker put her cup on table and took a deep breath before saying "I need to tell you something" 

Clay already knew this was something important which Mrs. Baker wanted to tell him and he was prepared for it, he nodded in her direction. 

"Hannah doesn't remember you yet, but the real weird thing about it is that she remembers everything else" said Mrs. Baker 

Clay wasn't able to understand what Mrs. Baker just told him, she doesn't remember him, he knew it was coming that she doesn't not remember but how she remembers everything else, how it can be possible that she remembers everything except him, at Clay's bewildered expression Mrs. Baker resumed   
"The night she first woke up she doesn't remember because of the attack but her other memories she quite vividly remember, even in which you are but she just told me there is a void in her memories which she isn't quite able to understand, she asked me for her tapes, and as far as I know she contacted Tony for them but I've told him not to give her anything, you can understand why isn't it" 

"I can, the void is I'm and when she tries to remember anything she gets headache, isn't it??" said Clay figuring out every new information, for last seven days he just heard about Hannah's health or when she discharged and she is yet to remember things

"did Tony told you anything" asked Mrs. Baker 

"No, he didn't and now I know why" said Clay impassively, Tony wasn't quite talking to him for last two days or when he did he seemed looking him weirdly, Tony was the first person to whom Clay talked about Hannah's sudden loss of memories.

"I'm really sorry Clay, Tony knew when he came home two days ago that Hannah remembers everything except you, but I asked him to tell you nothing about it because I wanted to do it myself" said Mrs. Baker 

"that's alright, Mrs. Baker" said Clay 

"Thank you and I talked to doctor about it how come she just forgot a part of her memory not whole of it" said Mrs. Baker finally 

"what did he tell you" asked Clay, he too desperately wanted to know the answers but he wasn't showing his desperation now. 

"he just said there are so many things unusual with Hannah this is one of them" said Mrs. Baker disappointedly 

"this is everything then" said Clay looking at Mrs. Baker 

"Yes, I just need to tell you one more thing" said Mrs. Baker, Clay nodded to which Mrs. Baker resumed "We are leaving this place tomorrow"

"What?" said Clay, he wasn't expecting this, Hannah doesn't remember him, that's fine but he won't be able to even see her anymore if this happens

"yeah, I'm sorry Clay but Hannah has a lot of bad memories here and maybe now she has forgotten the best one" said Mrs. Baker 

Clay didn't say anything for a moment, he wanted to request Mrs. Baker to not to leave but he ended up saying "where??" 

"Santa Clara, almost twenty miles away from here" said Mrs. Baker 

Clay just knew one thing now wherever will be Hannah she will be happy, as she now knows she is loved.

"have a happy life there," said Clay, he wasn't all happy but he knew one thing nothing is permanent.

THE END

Okay guys here A part of me ends, Do tell me how was it.......


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